Christian Hedonist

Chris⋅tian

–noun

7.	a person who believes in Jesus Christ; adherent of Christianity.

8.	a person who exemplifies in his or her life the teachings of Christ: He died like a true Christian.

he⋅don⋅ist

- noun

1.	a person whose life is devoted to the pursuit of pleasure and self-gratification.

These two themes seem to be incompatible. But as John Piper points out in Desiring God, it is "The Chief end of man is to glorify God by enjoying Him forever."

My thoughts on this: (just the first chapter!)

1. It's hard to wrap my mind around. I tend to think of the pursuit of pleasure as adherently evil. As Piper points out, "I had a vague, pervasive notion that if I did something good because it would make me happy, I would ruin it's goodness."

2. If we come to the conclusion that the pursuit of pleasure is intertwined within our human nature, then we can understand why it would make sense that the God who created us with this desire would also offer the remedy to the abyss within us; Himself.

3. We praise what we love, and we enjoy pleasing those whom we love. It is comparable to marriage in that, when I seek the pleasure of my spouse, I myself am delighted in their pleasure.

Perspective

We tend to think that the universe revolves around the souls of men, where God and Satan are in a cosmic battle to win the souls of men, being the ultimate prize to be won. But rather, the universe revolves around the Almighty God, it's primary purpose to bring Him glory.

We tend to think that God and Satan are arch-enemies, equal in power and strength. But rather, Satan is a created being, subject to God and His command.

We tend to think that Jesus died on the cross to save us ("win us") because He loves us and wanted to defeat Satan. But rather, Christ died on the cross primarily to absorb the wrath of God.

We tend to think that we have control over our lives, that we are free to choose what we will do from one day to the next, that the outcome of our lives depend on us. But rather, God is soverign. His hands direct our lives, and only by His mercy we live one day to the next.

We tend to think that our faith saves us, that if we can believe enough in Jesus that we will escape hell. But rather, Christ's work on the cross was finished, it is only He who inspires true saving faith, only He works in us to will and to do the things that please Him.

We tend to think that humanity is good at it's core being, that every person has some good in him. But rather, we are all born into a sinful nature, that makes us wicked in all we do, with the ultimate result that, apart from Christ, we are enemies of God.

We tend to think that God's character only portrays love, mercy, and kindness. But rather, we forget that He is the Almighty, who demands that we reverence and fear Him. The One who has poured out His wrath upon the nations and takes pleasure in His glory. The One who has the power to destroy both body and soul.

We are arrogant in our thinking. We are completely centered upon ourselves. Humanity wants to believe that we are little gods, that the Almighty God is so captivated with us that we have control. Our perspective is skewed. We can call ourselves Christians but still believe in a man-centered religion.

Who are we compared to the Almighty, Omnipotent, Omniscient, Omnipresent God? Who are we to question Him? Who are we to demand from Him? Who are we to say what is just? Are we more intelligent than He? Shall we serve a God who is limited in power and might?

We need to see the One True God. We need to allow His truth to penetrate our hearts. We need to be passionate about His glory. We need to be centered upon Christ. We need Him.

We need a new perspective.

The World Around Us Disappears

After reading Jonathan Edward's "Sinners in the hands of an angry God," and some of Clint's recent posts, I have been contemplating the condition of those who surround me everyday. I have become numb to the piercing truth that many people I know and love are inevitably bound for hell. Just writing that makes my heart cringe. The knowledge of this epidemic should give me an urgency to declare the true gospel, that they should repent and trust in Jesus or their sins will surely be paid for by an eternity in hell.

Although, all too often I find myself "encouraging" and "appeasing" those around me. I make them feel like their condition is acceptable, like convincing them they are not sick when I have the antedote to their ailment. I would like to think that I am gently bringing truth by example, but in all honesty, I am a self-centered coward.

I care more about what those people think of me than their disgusting eternal condition. I would rather be "nice" and tell people things like "Jesus loves you," in the guise of compassion, than to have the truest kind of love and compassion of communicating their rotting condition of sin and the cure of Jesus Christ. I would rather rationalize my lack of concern by saying that "God will draw them to the truth," but denying His use of me as His vessel of truth. It has been said of me that I am the queen of excuses, and in this regard, I cannot deny the stark truth that statement brings. My own actions condemning me before The Judge.

I am selfish. I am afraid. I love my own life too much to truly love those around me. I enjoy my comfortable christian bubble while the world around us disappears.

A Complicated Thought Pattern

A popular subject in my life recently has been Todd Bentley and the revival in Florida. Although I must admit that I have not personally encountered or studied this topic, I have engaged in many a debate surrounding these subjects.

From what I know, The Lord spoke to him in a vision saying, worship the healing angel, Emma. Many miraculous signs and wonders have surrounded his ministry. He is engaged in the charismatic supernatural gifts. He has called down angels by the inclination of the Holy Spirit.

I see many problems with this "revival."

God says in His word:
"Let no one disqualify you, insisting on asceticism and worship of angels, going on in detail about visions, puffed up without reason by his sensuous mind and not holding fast to the Head, from whom the whole body, nourished and knit together through it's joints and ligaments, grows with a growth that is from God." -Colossians 2:18, 19

"But even if we or an angel from Heaven preach a gospel to you beside what we preached to you, let him be accursed." -Galatians 1:8

"For such ones are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ. Did not even Satan marvelously transform himself into an angel of light?"
-2 Cor 11:13-14

God never goes against His word. Anything that is of Him and from Him will be congruent with His Word. Clearly, He says that angel worship is not acceptable.

He also says:
"For false Christs and false prophets will arise and will give miraculous signs and wonders in order to seduce, if possible, even the elect." -Mark 13:22

The purpose of signs and wonders is to confirm the Word of the gospel, that people might believe in the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ (Mark 16:20, 2 Thesselonians ch 2). The purpose is not for our own selfish gain, but for the glory of Christ. The Holy Spirit always points to Christ.

The most important thing:
His Word.

God values His Word, even above His name. Which significance we cannot fully understand. In our American culture, we flagrantly use the name of God to our pleasing, but we cannot understand the sanctity of His name, that the Jews (who God entrusted with His name) would not even say His name for fear of using it in vain. His name is highly exalted. When He made a covenant with Abraham, He could swear by no one greater, so He swore by His own name. His name is the name above every name. It is significant to note that He magnifies His Word even above His name.

The Word is God's heart. It is his special revelation to us. Everything we need (for life and godliness) is found therein. The Word is our foundation. Jesus is the Word become flesh (as Jesus is our rock and our foundation). The Word always reveals Jesus. It always inspires us into a deeper relationship with Him.

"I will worship toward Your holy temple, and praise Your name for Your loving-kindness and for Your truth's sake; for You have magnified Your Word above all Your name." -Psalm 138:2

"And He had been clothed in a garment dipped in blood, and His name is called The Word of God." -Revelation 19:13

" For when God made promise to Abraham, because He could swear by no greater, He swore by Himself (His own name), " Hebrews 6:13

The bottom line is this: anything that goes against God's word, even a little, is not of Him, no matter how appealing it seems, no matter how many people have experiences that feel like they are from God, no matter how many signs and wonders, no matter how convincing.
If it goes against God's Word, throw it out.

A Simply Touching Story

"Many years ago, while watching TV on Sunday instead of going to church, I watched a Church in Atlanta honoring one of its senior pastors who had been retired many years.He was 92 at that time and I wondered why the Church even bothered to ask the old gentleman to preach at that age.

After a warm welcome, introduction of this speaker, and as the applause quieted down, he rose from his high back chair and walked slowly, with great effort and a sliding gait,to the podium. Without a note or written paper of any kind, he placed both hands on the pulpit to steady himself and then quietly and slowly he began to speak.

'When I was asked to come here today and talk to you, your pastor asked me to tell you what was the greatest lesson ever learned in my 50 or so years of preaching. I thought about it for a few days and boiled it down to just one thing that made the most difference in my life and sustained me through all my trials. The one thing that I could always rely on when tears and heartbreak and pain and fear and sorrow paralyzed me...... the only thing that would comfort was this verse.....
'Jesus loves me this I know.For the Bible tells me so.Little ones to him belong,We are weak but he is strong.....Yes, Jesus loves me...The Bible tells me so.'
When he finished, the church was quiet. You actually could hear his footsteps as he shuffled back to his chair. "


We often forget the simple truth. We like to make things complicated. We like to dance around conversations that are too great for us to understand, yet the simple truth remains...
"Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so." If we could just grasp that simple truth and live to love Him back, then maybe our lives would be much more productive for His glory and much less complicated and filled of our own.

Everything is Changing

"I’m trying to follow,
I’m trying my best to do what you said...
But what about tomorrow?
Are you sure I’m not in over my head...

Everything is changing all around me.
Is this the ending of a dream?
I thought I was doing what you wanted...
It isn’t as easy as it seems.

I’m losing my vision.
I’m fighting the doubting with all that I am...
It’s been awhile since you last gave me something...
To go on,
Tell me it’s not the end...

It seemed like I did everything right,
Now I see that it’s all wrong.
Do you want me to move on?
Can you tell me...
where do I belong?"

Learning to Trust

" Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him: but I will maintain my ways before Him." Job 13:15

"Kiss the Son, lest He be angry, and you perish in the way, for His wrath is quickly kindled. Blessed are all who put their trust in Him." Ps. 2:12

The reality of how I feel the sooner, yet the truth I know is the latter. The gap between truth and reality has to be filled with trust in God.

Remembering When...

Sometimes the easiest way to find yourself (or rather, finding yourself in God) is to go back to the basics. Remembering where God has brought me from, the journey along the way, and the very special present moment.

I've been contemplating these things. How easy it is to forget the things that are important in life, namely The Source that makes it all worth it. I feel like I've been waiting my whole life for something special, something grand and wonderful to take place, only to be faced with disappointment. But what I didn't realize was that the miracle has been here all along. The miracle I find in life is the beauty of the cross...everything fades in comparison.

My salvation experience reaches far beyond anything that I can comprehend. I was radically saved from certain hell by a God who is too holy and wonderful for me to understand. How easily I forget. Nothing compares to the beauty of the cross of Christ.

Along the way, He began a work in me, which is not yet complete, but someday shall surely be. Such strong convictions I had, or so I thought. I pride myself in knowing that I dedicated two years of my life wholly to God, and waited another two to court my future husband, but was my heart really any different...

A wise man once said, "Stop praying for a man and start praying for God to prepare you for a REAL man of God. The most unattractive thing to a man of God (I know some men of God) is a woman who is actively searching for a potential husband. It is so easy to sense. It actually shows two things: First, it shows that you don't trust God, that He is going to provide a wonderful husband for you in His timing. Second, it shows that you don't see yourself as worth being pursued. Devote yourself to One Man: Christ. "

I once thought my heart was wholly in this place. Yet, "the heart is deceitful above all else..." I am finding things in my heart that I thought were long dead and gone. But it seems that the condition of the heart always finds a way to reveal it's true nature. Sin abides therein. Dormant for a time, yet not completely gone. "I do what I will not to do," and in the process I hurt those I love very dearly.

Contemplating the cure...I talk alot about things I actually do not know of or have come to a full understanding of. The sovereignty of God, living the gospel, predestination, Calvinism/reformed theology. Truth is still truth, but only life-giving and inspires freedom when lived and applied. "I do not concern myself with matters too great for me to understand." A.W. Tozer said, "Important as it is that we recognize God working in us, I would warn against a too-great preoccupation with the thought. God will not hold us responsible to understand the mysteries of election, pre-destination, and the divine sovereignty. The best and safest way to deal with these truths is to raise our eyes to God and in deepest reverence say, 'O Lord, Thou knowest.' Those things belong to the deep and mysterious profound of God's omniscience. Prying into them may make theologians, but it will never make saints."

Knowledge is not enough, it starts in God's working in the heart. "One should suppose that proper instruction in the doctrines of man's depravity and the necessity for justification through the righteousness of Christ alone would deliver us from the power of the self-sins, but it does not work that way...There must be a work of God in destruction before we are free. We must invite the cross to do it's deadly work within us."(A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God)

In the present condition of the disease of self I carry, I must look back to go forward. As when I was first saved from the wrath of God, I must return again to the cross (and continue for life)."To the cross you beckon me, draw me gently to my knees..."

"For I determined not to know anything among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified...."

Theme Verse

"Let love be without hypocricy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good." -Rom 12:9

Simplicity at it's best, yet most complicated and difficult when it comes to execution in my life. I'm a hypocrite. I enjoy wickedness way too much. I do not strive after what is good.

Yet I know, even in the realization of such, God is working in me, as only He can do.

The Endeavor of Naming the Viking

So, Clint has imposed upon me the task of naming the classic viking pipe that I gave him for Valentine's Day. I have endeavored (with the help of Chelsea the faithful) to complete this wrenching task. I first suggested "Isadora," which sounds like the name of a "viking princess," if I ever heard one. My darling was not impressed. He said, "It sounds so...blatantly feminine."
So, I endeavored the task once again. This is the sampling of the "rough manly viking names" that we came up with:
Gallahad
Gæirmund
Friðmundr the Fearsome
Klængr
Hvitserk
Jarnskeggi
Kjartan
Sigmund
Sven

So, hopefully one of these will suffice....we shall see what my picky prince desires for the name of his glorious viking pipe.

"Conversations with Chuck..."

So, today I was in my Christian Doctrine class, awaiting the arrival of the professor so that we could take our tests. The guy sitting next to me, we'll call him "Chuck", didn't appear to have any notes to study or the desire to do so.
So, I asked Chuck, "Do you have the notes...would you like me to quiz you?"
"No," He replied, "I don't study for tests."
Jokingly I replied, "Oh, I see, you're some type of genius who has everything memorized..."
"Heh, no I just don't need this for my job." He informed me.
"What's your job?" I asked.
"I'm a youth pastor." He replied.
"Oh, and youth pastor's don't need to know basic Christian doctrine?" I remarked, an eyebrow raised.
"No, there's no need. This would go right over my kid's head. There are the "types" I ocassionally get to have a deep conversation with, but for the most part anything deep like this wouldn't matter, besides my pastor doesn't even talk about this stuff."
"Oh, so you're in a seeker-friendly church?" I replied.
He then went on [admittedly] to describe how his church "unfortunately" is seeker-friendly, and that's just the way it is. Even if he wanted to "teach doctrine" it wouldn't work because the church has to be unified, besides his "kids" don't need doctrine or the Bible because they have bigger issues to deal with, like abuse and alcoholism.
"So how do you plan to make a difference then?" Was my question, "How can you make anything different than their lives already are? They need "this stuff" to be able to overcome in the situations that they are in. Besides the fact that they are being constantly surrounded by buddism and universalism and all kinds of other things, if they don't know the [elementary] truth, how are they going to be able to stay away from that stuff?"
"Well, I plan to deal with the "issues" first, then after that is taken care of, maybe teach them some Bible." He replied.
I was starting to wonder if anyone is his youth group was even saved.
I ended with, " Well, the only real thing that is going to change their lives is the power of the gospel."

Interesting how someone can go to a Christian college, be in the ministry, and profess Christ, and not even care about the elementary teachings of the Bible. I'm kinda sick of seeker-friendly churches and people trying to be relevent. The message never changes. The gospel Is the power of God unto salvation, and that's the only thing that will really change people, not being their buddy. I'm pretty convinced that the road to hell is paved with people trying to be your buddy.

Such is Life...

Sometimes in the business of life it's hard to do those things that are of eternal significance.
Loving God. Loving others. Building relationships.

I get so caught up with the business that I forget to make time for God and people, the two things in this world that have eternal significance. But it really comes down to the fact that, Love inspires action.

I do not yet love people the way that God desires for me to. I do not yet love God the way that He requires.

But I realize, only by The Source can I love at all...and without that Source I am certain to fall. Certain to fall short of loving. Only His love is capable of loving perfectly.

These important things in my life, I must remind myself, are what really matter.

May the God of love inspire my heart to truly take time to love as He does...
May I be willing to give up my life for others. To truly love.

My Purpose Revealed

So, I got bored and curious and started taking some quizes. This is what I found out about myself:

What Type Of Girl Are You?

The Girl Everyone Loves To Be Around

Your the type of girl that cares about everyone and excepts aol diffrent personality's. You love making new friends and would NEVER hurt the one's you have. Your a very social person who often hangs around many types of people. Your honest and trustworthy and your friends can always trust your instincs.

What Kind of Bride Will You Be?

You Will Be a Traditional Bride!
You're the type of girl who is feminine, old fashioned, and totally traditional. You've been dreaming of your wedding day since you were young And you can't wait to be a princess in your big white gown. It's likely that you'll have a big family wedding and take your husband's name While a huge affair will be fun, just don't go all Bridezilla about the color of your napkins!


What kind of Mom will you be?

Stay At Home
You'll be one of the fundamental pillars of the family and take great care of your kids.

Special Love

"God gives special people to those who can give them a special love."

What a profound statement. We often think of learning disabilities and defects as a "punishment" for sin, but we forget that God uses the weak things of the world to profound the strong.

The man born blind was created for God's glory to be shown through. The disciples didn't understand. Jesus saw God's purpose.
Divine eyes. To see as Jesus sees...

We are all weak before the Almighty. He sees us as beautiful.

May I have eyes to see as Jesus does. May I have a special kind of love for those who the world sees as weak or "sinful."

Madeline. God gladly bends down to hear her prayers. How precious.

Transformation

"Transformation, as it relates to spiritual formation, involves a thorough change in the nature of a believer's life as it conforms to God's will. The natural response of one who has been redeemed is to conform to the image of Christ."

"The problem is that our Christian walk and actions do not always conform to the image of Christ. This is the biggest source of frustration for those who seriously search for spiritual development. Paul expresses this same frustration in Romans 7:15. Why is it that we intend to be like Christ, yet we sometimes fall short? Romans 7:20 explains that even though we are redeemed (transformed), sin still dwells in us. It is this sin that indwells us that causes redeemed believers to struggle with sin in their pursuit of spiritual development. While there are no magic formulas that will guarantee we never sin again, there are tools that God will use to lead us in our journey to live and act like Christ."

"How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word." Psalm 119:9

Priorities, Self-Denial, and Post-Modernism

Recently, I had a conversation about purpose being for the glory of God. I thought I understood the concept, but it wasn't something I readily embraced. I preferred to think of myself as being created to "love or worship" God, rather than God desiring glory. I asked God to give me deeper understanding about this particular revelation.

It seems that God takes me seriously when I pray. His glory has been a "theme" lately through out my life, right within my daily routine. My first class today was Biology. I found it interesting that the professor was talking about the Post Modern Era, which is marked by self-experience and relative truth. He asserted that relativism is self-refuting and doesn't live up to it's own claim (if everyone's truth is true, then that's an absolute and therefore defeats relative truth). He talked about the decline in moral standard due to this epistemology. He talked about how this thinking is problematic and completely contrary to the Word of God. (I'm not sure what this has to do with Biology, but I did learn nonetheless).

Next was Spiritual Formation. The professor began with a short devotional in Psalms. It was about God directing David's steps (the sovereignty of God). Then he talked about Jonathan Edward's message "sinners in the hands of an angry God." I'll never forget what he said next:
"You can be saved and waste your life, but the purpose of your life is to bring glory to God and to make Him known." He talked about a man that returned money to kfc, and when the manager wanted to award him for his integrity, he replied, 'the woman I'm with is not my wife.' It's unbelievable that we can have integrity in one area of our lives, but be completely immoral in others. He said, "we always seem to be one decision away from screwing everything up." But he went on to emphasise the importance of representing Christ, even amidst the hypocrites. Ghondi said, "I can't be a Christian because of the hypocrisy." He quoted I Peter 3:15. Then he left us with these questions: "When was the last time someone asked you to give a reason for the hope that is in you? can others see Christ in you (even if you never mention His name)?"

Chapel was just as convicting. The guest speaker began by talking about marriage and expectations. How there is a difference between expectation and reality, and that creates frustration. He tied that in with salvation and the cross.

The text he used was Matthew 16:16-18 "And Simon Peter answered and said, You are the Christ, the Son of the living God. Jesus answered and said to him, You are blessed, Simon, son of Jonah, for flesh and blood did not reveal it to you, but My Father in Heaven. And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it."

The Rock that we build upon is the fact that Jesus is the Messiah. He talked about how, when we are first saved that we think that Jesus is going to make everything great. We confess our faith, and think that we will be blessed. We have false expectations. But our expectations need to line up with the reality of the cross. He said, "Jesus didn't die on the cross so that you could have 'your best life now.' " He showed how after this verse, right after what Jesus said in vs. 24:

" Then Jesus said to His disciples, If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me."

He went on to say, "The cross is not about you. It's about glorifying God with your life. It's about self-denial. To abandon yourself." He quoted A.W. Tozer: "Your fulfillment and joy will be in proportion to the extent that you deny yourself." Jesus is the Rock that we build our foundation upon, but even in building a foundation, we have to count the cost. When you got saved, you said to God: "Where You go, I will follow." God may lead you where you don't want to go. You may be challenged to die. Our priority should be to follow hard after Christ.

Interestingly enough, my professor in Christian Doctrine also talked about post-modernism and the truth of the word. Bringing glory to God in our lives. Sound Doctrine.

Pondering this in my mind, I've come to the conclusion that all of these things mean nothing if they don't challenge me to change. My priorities have not been to follow hard after Christ. I'm not living for the glory of God. I can use all the excuses in the world about being busy with school, work, and relationships; but the truth of the matter is that my priorities are not lining up with my professions. I talk about the cross and grace, and I can have every revelation there is to know about the Word, but still live unchanged by it. I would rather write this blog about "what God is saying to me" than to actually listen to what He is saying to me. I would rather have intellectual knowledge than live it out in my life. Some days, I would rather have no relationships at all (with God and people) than to deny myself in the relationships that I do have. I have false expectations and I would prefer that everything be easy. I'm really not into denying myself or giving glory to God, I would rather just float through life, thinking that everything will be okay. So, when it comes down to it, lest God change my heart, I am really no different than the post-modern society that I so venomously oppose (in concept at least).

"Upheld"

You didn't die so that I
Would excuse my sin,
Your grace to cover all
You didn't sacrifice for me
to be entangled again,
To continue to fall...

You didn't suffer so that I
Would put You back upon the cross
Making Your blood spilled in vain,
You didn't pay such a price for me
to void the cost,
falling to my bane...

No, You died
This is why

You showed justice at Calvary
When You hung on that tree
So that I would be set free
From the sin entangling
For Your grace surrounding me
Upheld by Your mercy

You died
You sacrificed
You spilled Your blood
So that I
Would be set free
Upheld by Your mercy

Revisiting Grace and The Cross

Jesus Christ did not die on the cross so that I would have an excuse to sin. He died on the cross because He is holy, and good, and just, and can not abide in the presence of sin. He demonstrated His love for me, a sinful fallen creature destined for His wrath and justice, by taking that sin upon Himself.

The cross is a demonstration of both the love and justice of God. It demonstrates His hate of sin. His desire for holiness and obedience. His desire for love and glory. His desire for me. His grace that gives us power not to sin.

It demonstrates His love. "But we know that we love Him because He first loved us..." And Jesus said, "If you love me, keep my commandments [obey me]." Obedience is a result of what Jesus did on the cross. Because of who God is. Because He is holy and just. He will be treated as Holy by those who come near.

"We live in a society today where obedience is optional." Well said. But if we use Christ's sacrifice as an excuse to sin, have we not then missed the whole point? Haven't we made void that sacrifice...placing Jesus again on the cross?

Do we truly have a revelation of what the cross is about? God's love. God's holiness. God satisfying His own wrath and justice. God satisfying obedience. His standard of righteousness. Because of the cross, because of God's grace, we are no longer slaves to sin. We are no longer held captive by the world when we have a true revelation of God's amazing love and holiness. His Justice. The reason behind the cross.

If I struggle so much with sin, maybe I should go back to the cross. Maybe we haven't truly understood God's hate for sin. His desire for righteousness. His love. His mercy. His sacrifice. His glory.

He took responsibility for humanity's choice to be separated from Him. Sin. Restoration. He desires obedience (Righteousness) which is love, so much that He died to inspire (by His love first) to love Him (obedience) and give Him the glory due His Name.

If we think that Jesus died just so that we could emphasise grace, put Him back on the cross everyday by sinning, and make void His sacrifice, then we've missed what what the cross is all about. If the cross doesn't inspire us not to sin, then we've missed the whole point.

Did He not die so that we would no longer be a slave to sin [the very thing that separates us from Him]? Did He not die so that He could have fellowship with us [He can not abide in the presence of sin]? Did He not die so that we would love Him and give Him glory [obey His standard of righteousness]?

Oh, that I could live this revelation...

Growing Pains

Growing can be painful. I was 6 ibs 9 oz when I was born. I grew up. I am now 118 ibs. That's a lot of growing. As I grew, sometimes it hurt. I remember when I was about 12 and my shins would hurt from "growing pains." I didn't like it then, but now I am glad that I went through that because, although I am petite, I am not a midget.

I also had "growing pains" in knowledge. When I was 5, despite my parent's instruction, I played with matches. I got burned. By making a mistake, I grew in knowledge. I learned obedience (and not to play with matches.)

These same learning processes are still applicable in my life today. God stretches me, it hurts, but I grow. I make mistakes, it hurts, but I learn.

It's like working out. I push myself to go further. My muscles get sore, but they get stronger because of it.

Thank you, God, for growing pains.

Something New

Hmm...what can I say?
I'm bored.
How pathetic. I'm talking to myself on my blog.
It hasn't even been one full day, and I already miss my beau.
Fasting.
Not much else I can say.

Love?

Take the Love Quiz at QuizRocket.com!

Yes, You're In Love Yes, you've found a balance with him, you're comfortable around him, and you can be yourself around him. That's really important and is a pretty good indicator that you're in love! Giving up really important things for him is important, too. Hopefully you won't be in that situation, but if you're not sure if he's worth sacrificing certain things, then you're not sure you really love him. Giving up your friends, though, is definitely NOT one of those things, so your ability to maintain your relationship with them is really great.

Laundry

I absolutely abhor laundry. I absolutely love clothes. I think there must be a reconciliation between the two.

I must embrace the process. I think that I don't like doing laundry because it is such a long process. I throw all of my clothes into a couple different baskets, then when I muster up the courage, I sort through the clothes, putting them into different color-coordinating piles, upon completion of the piles, I put them back into the baskets, transport them to the laundry room and put them into the washing machine(if one is available), then I wait...and wait...then I put the wet clothes into the dryer, then I wait...and wait...then I put the clothes back into the baskets, sort them, fold them, and finally hang them. It seems so unnecessary.

I liken laundry unto my sin. It piles up, it stinks, and I hate to face it...but then I muster up the courage to finally sort through it all, repent, and ask God to cleanse me. It's a beautiful process.

I still think that the spiritual process is much easier than laundry though.

Love is Like...

Love is like a good cup of coffe, it keeps you awake at night.

Love is like fine China, it is delicate and beautiful.

Love is like a trunk, it is filled with sweet nothings.

Love is like a blanket, it surrounds you with warm fuzzyness.

Love is like a good pair of shoes, the right one fits so perfectly.

Just what I need...(today)

God is so amazing! He always knows just what I need. I had been feeling a little down on myself today, but God brought someone into my life to remind me to "count it all a joy..."
My co-worker reminded me of my passion for pro-life by talking about hers. She confirmed what God has been doing in my life in special ways and different things. She encouraged me.
I am reminded by this that God truly is in control of our lives...He knows. :-)

" Consider [it] all joy, my brothers [and sisters], whenever you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patient endurance. " James 1:2-3

Jesus Help Me...

Jesus help me to be
a testimony of your glory
To see life as you see
The Cross that beckons me

I seldom get it right
I just need your light
To shine in the darkest of night
Make my heart to be upright

So often I fall
Neglecting the voice of Your call
Putting up these walls
They're getting really tall

Break it down
The foul ground
Suffocatingly they surround
Your Cross crushing this bound
I lay me down

Sovereign Hands

My life is a story. An inter-connected series of events, not just random chance, but purposeful. Combining the past, present, and future: all to see the big picture as God sees it. If only for a moment, to look back and see that God's sovereign hands have directed my life, even up to this moment, to prepare me for all the wonderful things He has purposed for me. Oh, to have eyes to see and ears to hear as God!

Filling up blank sheets of paper on the book that He has written out for me, all part of God's sovereign design.

My life is a story. God is the author. Jesus is the author, perfecter, and finisher.

The character (person in the story) does not shape the story, but rather the author shapes the character by the story.

"You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. You go before me and follow me. You place Your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!
You watched as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Everyday of my life was recorded in Your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are Your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! " -Psalm 139: 4-6 , 15-18

Dog Blog

Meet Holly. She is my beautiful dachshund-terrier mix. Isn't she pretty? Just look into those big, brown eyes...how can you resist?

There Comes a Time...

in my life when I must follow a meaningful blog with meaningless fun. I guess this is it.

I have so many book projects that I don't know what to do with myself.
I'm supposed to write:
"There Comes a Time in a Woman's Life..."
"The Wonderful Life of Chelsea"
Contribute the story to "Memiors of an Acorn"
Win out against an emotional "feeling book"
and rival a best-selling ego-centric book with an amazingly meek book on humility,
not to mention the book on my testimony...

I should definately "get right on these"... if I start now, I may be done in 20 years.

Something Substantial

Lately I have been writing some really goofy blogs, which have been immensely fun, but today I think I will actually write something of meaning, and although I am accused of over-spiritualizing everything, I come with simplicity in mind. :-)

Light. Exposure. Humility.
God has been teaching me allot in these areas recently. I feel as though I have "come a long way" in exposing things in my life, namely my testimony. But God has shown me that it's not only my past that needs to be exposed, but my current heart condition.

All too often I feel like I'm putting on a fake facade by speaking the "great wisdom" that God has revealed to me, when in reality I find it difficult to actually live the things that I so adamantly profess to believe. I find it difficult to slay my flesh and take up my cross daily. I want the easy way out in situations that test my faith, instead of preferring God to mold me into a woman of character and integrity. I struggle with the balance between man-pleasing and being overly religious. I am apt to act like an "awesome woman of God" when I know that people are watching or listening, but all too often falter when no one is. I am weak in discernment, easily swayed by the opinions of others, instead of searching and studying the Word of God for truth myself. I don't seek God with everything that is within me everyday. I am overtaken by my thoughts and dishonor God in my heart. This is the condition of my heart.

I know that God has placed the desire in my heart to be a pure woman of God. I want to honor and love God, whether people are looking or not. I want to be strong in faith and stand for His standard of righteousness. I want to genuinely love God with all that is within me. I want to love others like Jesus. I want to be real, authentic, and genuine. I want to be strong in discernment and actually weigh everything by the Word of God. I want to honor God in my heart, in my thoughts, in my actions, and everything I do. I don't want to take the easy road, I want to have a radical life lived for Jesus. This is the desire of my heart.

Unfortunately the condition of my heart and the desires of my heart do not yet match up. That, my friends, is the truth of the matter. The light shed that now makes me responsible for the changes that need to take place in my heart . . .

There Comes a Time in a Woman's Life...

when she must scrub her own carpet...
for 3 hours...
only to have her room-mate put it in the closet because the pattern is "too busy..."

When she must put up her own hardware for the curtains...
sweat coming down brow...
only to have the flimsy thing fall off the wall the first time she puts the curtains on it...

When she must climb up mountains in heels...
only to prove her beastly womanlyness...

When she must play football...
tripping herself several times...
learning to laugh about it...
only to wake with excruciateing pain reminding her of her lack of athleticism.

When she must get ready for work.

The Three Musketeers (or something like that...)

I couldn't name it "The adventures of Clint, Chelsea, and Sarah" . . . That would have been too unoriginal. (side note)

As fun as "The adventures of Goose and Sheep (part 2)" would have been to write, sadly they are on vacation to a desert island called "The lovely land of Sarah's canopy-covered bed." So, I guess I decided I should appeal to the only audience that actually reads my blogs.

What can I say about our trio? Oh, yes...our fun-filled day at aunt Roberta's. It started off with a wonderful introduction to the fam, which left Chelsea and Sarah feeling internally awkward...but they got through it by cordially shaking hands, smiling, then running to the bathroom to hug themselves.
Then, after a wonderful meal, they all headed out to the pasture/back yard, dodging manuer in the meantime, to meet Scottie and Paco. Paco was definately a ladies man. He had Chelsea and Sarah swooning. Scottie kept to himself, but Clint kept him company. Poor Scottie.
Following the lovely encounter with the horses, a walk in the woods was in way. It was lots of fun frolicking through the trees and trying to run up the mountain gracefully in heels. Sarah just had to prove her tough beastly womanly-ness, which continued into the football encounter.
It was a tough game. Clint was the all-star quarterback of the Clan McFortner. Sarah was the awkward running back of Curt's Angels. No one had to trip Sarah, she was sufficent to trip herself, seemingly playing for the other team. Then she made a glorious finishing touchdown, faking Clint out. She stepped to the right, swirved to the left, and with breath flaring out their nostrils and sweat coming down their brow, they ended with a suspensful tie.
But, all good things must come to an end. After a long car ride discussing birthdays, friendship certificates, and Clint's uncanny similarity to Superman, we arrived back at campus...destined to go back to our daily routines. It wasn't good-bye for the trio, just "until we meet again."